; you'll always be my thunder
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My Blog = Dead
Sunday, October 30, 2011 || 4:21 PM
Okay, I know I have been seriously neglecting my blog, but I can explain myself! Firstly, I was in India from 19 Oct to 26 Oct! Went for my grandmother's prayers which were really sad and sombre ): I wasn't really close to her, but its strange to think that she won't be there the next time I go with her potato stew and appam. But after the prayers, I got to celebrate deepavali in india! Ohman, it was so insane, you have no idea! I took tons of videos, will post them when I have time (:
Next, my GPA for this year is like really dismal. I was super disappointed, and I could tell that my parents were too, but they were being really nice to me. I started crying in the middle of the conversation, because I just felt like I was letting everyone down, and that I was being an embarrassment to my parents. And I honestly think my mum is psychic, cause she looked at me and went "You do know that we're not ashamed of you or anything right?" which obviously made me cry harder. Ah, my parents are so nice to me. But yeah, I'm not going to be ashamed of myself either. I mean I got a shitty GPA, I didn't cheat on my exam, or get pregnant or something. I studied hard, but it wasn't enough. I just have to take that into perspective and study a LOT harder next year. JC is what really matters anyway.
Moving on, I AM SO TERRIBLY UPSET THAT I COULDN'T GO FOR TALENT VOGUE AND WATCH CHANEL BEING AWESOME )': I COULDN'T GO FOR ICS FAREWELL EITHER. DAMNIT. I've been really sick the past two days D: food poisoning sigh. The food in our school canteen/cafe ah. Fail. FAILLLLLLL.
Friday night was one of the longest nights of my life I swear. I was really sick, and was moaning throughout the night. My dad was an absolute darling I swear. He stayed next to me the whole night, and getting me water and holding my hair up while I emptied the contents of my already empty stomach. And on Saturday too! He came with me to the clinic, and waited an obscenely long time to see the doctor. Hahaha, my dad was all panicky and funny cause I hadn't eaten for like 24 hours. But I didn't really have an appetite. At all. Like the thought of food just made me nauseous. Still does actually. And it sucks cause my mum bought home naan yesterday but I didn't feel like eating it.
Now, I'm just sitting around looking like some hobo. Haven't combed my hair the whole day xD only family can see you like this and still love you, I swear. Sigh. Deepavali dinner was supp to be today, but is postponed to next week. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING GUYS YOU DA BEST.
OH and thank you to everyone who messaged me, or mentioned me on their blogs (yes shimei, I do read your blog) I do appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness, I love all of you so much. I will get better!
Weekend
Monday, October 17, 2011 || 5:02 AM
Okay, today (yesterday?) was the most slack day I've had in a long time. It was so insanely awesome, you have no idea. I woke up late, at around 9.30, had breakfast, went back to bed and watched shows the whole day (: HAHAHA I am terrible. I have officially finished watching Season 2 of Modern Family. Hm, I think I hate Phil a lot less now, have gotten used to him, and I still love Mitch! And Jay! And Gloria! :D I like Modern Family. I have to download the newer episodes!
After my Modern Family marathon, I took a short nap to sleep off the headache that had come from my watching-tv-on-a-laptop. Woke up to eat lunch, then went back to watch Doctor Who!
That's right, I'm totally a convert now. From a non-fan to a fan. Not from like HP to DW, cause that will never happen. NEVERRRRRRR. But yes. I have watched a total of 3 episodes of DW, and I really do love it. The storyline is like cool and the Doctor is awesome and funny and awesome and awkward and awesome. And KAREN IS SO PRETTY OMGGGG. Yes, and her character is not even very annoying! I like how DW is sort of poetic in a strange, scientific kind of way. Yes, I despise Sci-Fi but I really do love this show (: But I feel very noob and like a very bad fan, cause I'm have only watched like 3 episodes -.- need to hurry up and watch the rest! Must try and watch all the modern seasons (1-6?) so I can be on par with all the proper fans.
Because I'm just like that. If I watch a show, I need to watch every single episode in that show, if not I feel like I dunno the show. You know? Like I tell people I watch Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Suits, Modern Family and I have watched like everything. Except Season 4 of Gossip Girl. Which I am planning on watching even if people tell me it sucks. Because of my obsessive nature. So yes, I need to hardcore watch DW (:
AHHHHH I have my stupid Nanotech assessment thingum to doooooooo. And I have about 30 minutes to do it. Lovely.
I have been neglecting my blog.
Saturday, October 15, 2011 || 8:48 PM
Okay, I have so much to talk about, its crazy.
Firstly, EOYs. Of course. Right, so EOYs were a complete failure. I was seriously super demoralized by my marks, still am. I mean, I seriously put a lotlotlot of work into it, I studied my ass off. I dont think I've ever studied this hard, but in the end? My marks were still dismal. They were even WORSE than my MYAs, which weren't even that good to begin with. I just dropped in like everything, except SS. Which I'm not even taking next year. This is so lame. Everything was bad. I'm not even exaggerating. Even English. And it just sucks. Its like I'm so stupid at everything, and I tell myself "Its okay Arathi! At least you have English!"
WHICH IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
I just like telling myself that I can do English, that English is my thing. But I really don't think so anymore. My EOY marks were just pathetic. I was especially disappointed with my essay. I mean, I thought it was okay when I wrote it, but when I got it back.. I was just so.. Disappointed really. There's no other word for it. I agreed with all the comments: The scope was too limited, my vocabulary was limited, my tone was informal. It was just a huge mess. I couldn't believe I wrote it. And everyone tells me that its only one exam, it doesn't matter. But this is what matters the most! I mean, noone is going to care that I got 28/30 for my FA! All they're going to see is my shitty marks for EOYs.
That is when it really hit me that I suck at everything. There is literally nothing I can do. I'm not good at anything. My Sciences suck. My humanities suck. And now, apparently my languages suck too. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with myself, and I was so miserable, that I broke down in the Tamil room. I'm so thankful that I had Es and Sharni next to me. They were just comforting me, and helped me to calculate my GPA hahaha. The best case scenario is like 3.26 -.- But they made me feel a lot better. I'm reallyreally thankful for my friends, I love you guys <3
I am going to go for courses at BC this hols, I don't care. Going to rescue my English!
NEXT, I'm going to talk about Claire! Okay, I just have to blog about this. Claire is like one of my favourite people in the world. Definitely makes my top 10 list (: She is an amazingamazing person, and I'm forever grateful to have her in my life.
I've been in the same class as her for 4 years now, and I've learnt so much from her. She is such an inspiration really. Apart from the part where she is perfect (SERIOUSLY THAT GIRL IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING) she is just SUCH a good person, you know?
She is incredible at making people feel immediately comfortable with her. She knows how to make someone feel great, and there's like no awkwardness at all. Even if you've just met her a few minutes ago.
She's so helpful and generous and kind.
She has always been there for me. Through 4 years of paper checking (geographical location haha) she just has to look at me, and she kind of sees through everything. Always offers me a hug when I need it.
She loves Indians (always a plus!)
I think one of the things I love most about her, is her drive. She is so motivated and driven. She wants to do SO many things, and you know she'll get it done! She's hardworking, she's productive. And at the same time, somehow, she manages to maintain direction, you know? Esp in an environment like Raffles, you're always just rushing around, and going with the flow. You don't have much of direction, but Claire? She knows exactly what she wants, and how to get it.
I really hope we keep in touch, if not I'm gonna miss her like crazy, I'm not even kidding. Yesterday, was sitting with her at the grand piano in the hall. Claire was singing and playing, and it just really touched me. She played 'Still' which has always been my favourite christian song, hands down. The lyrics have always moved me, and I really feel for it, even if I'm not of the faith. Then she sang 'Deadly Beauty' by Faces Without Names. I was majorly tearing up, no joke. Its a reallyyy sad song, and Claire gave me the most gorgeous rendition. Her voice is just so amazing, and I could tell that she really felt for the song. I was just like trying not to start crying. I think her version was just so much more heartbreaking (although its a good song, go listen to it!)
I love you Claire.
I know we may not be the closest of friends, but I really do care a lot about you, and you've made a great impact on my life. I treasure every moment I've had with you <3
Okay, lastly, I reallyreally want a Kindle. My parents agreed to get me one! :D exciting ttm! But somehow I feel like I don't deserve. I really want it though. Its the most magical invention known to mankind
(okay its not, but still)
Yes okay. I will try to post more often now okay! I know I have been neglecting my blog, sorry!!
My Biological Clock is Ticking.
Sunday, October 09, 2011 || 1:47 PM
It really is, I swear. I was just on the MRT and I saw this incredibly cute angmoh kid. Like seriously superduper cute. She looked like some cherubic angel. With gorgeous blue-grey eyes, curly blonde hair and super adorable smile.
Her parents and her were playing this game where they touched their noses and went 'beepbeep!' AHHH DAMN CUTE OMG AUEHXFBXUDBDU.
She was like straddling her mum, and kept sneaking glances at me (: she finally plucked up the courage to wave at me, and when I waved back, her face cracked the sweetest smile I've ever seen on a child. I just melted.
Then she kept bouncing on her mum's knee, then her mum finally passed her to me :O so the kid was just on my knees, waving and gurgling at me! And kept saying 'hello!' hahaha cutest thing ever omg. I was just like smiling and waving back and bouncing her.
She finally quietened down when I had like 3 stops to go, and fell asleep on my shoulder! I was almost a puddle on the floor cause she was just so darned endearing with her huge eyes and blonde hair. When my stop came (damnit why) I passed her to her mum, and left.
But yes. Needless to say, I AM SO AFFECTED BY THIS. I want my own kid to play with!! Kids are just so adorable and loving and needy and asdfghjkl. I'm going to be SUCH a pushover I swear. My kids are gonna walk all over me.
Not that I would mind. I JUST WANT KIDS DAMNIT.
I can't express how much I love this quote.
Saturday, October 08, 2011 || 11:52 PM
The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.
- The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde.
Ohman.
|| 5:40 PM
Okay, I haven't posted in SUCH a long time omg. I've just been really busy, cramming for math and all. I honestly never thought I'd ever say that, but its true. I've been studying my ass off for math, the subject I hate with a passion. The Math1 paper was prettyyy bad, because I just blanked out as usual and wrote rubbish. Put +c for definite integrals -.- WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. Ms Hoo literally strangled me the next day D: D: And the worst part is, this means I actually have to mug for Math2 D: I just reallyreally wish that I wasn't taking math next yearrrrr. But tough luck. I am. This sucks. It feels like I'm betraying myself by willingly signing myself up for torture.
On a bright note, I did well for SS! :D :D :D I was quite disappointed after the paper cause I knew I could have done better, it wasn't my best. But apparently it was enough! I GOT MY OVERALL 4.0 FOR SS! :D okay considering my grades in everything else is shitty, this makes me deliriously happy (: I heard the English compre was horrible (mr angullia was tormenting us with the information) I heard the History SBQ was horrible. I KNOW the Bio paper was horrible. I know Math was terrible, and will be terrible. I have little hope for Chemistry. And my self confidence in Lit was completely crushed last time round soooo..
Basically, I'm just really happy about SS.
But sigh, yesterday and today were COMPLETELY unproductive. I really need to study for Math2, but I can't bring myself to do it, its just so HARD. I'm promising myself that I will go to my new haunt to study tomorrow!
What's my new haunt you ask? That's right, British Council. HAHA, Shimei has heard plenty about my BC obsession ahahaha. Its just really conducive okay!! Its full of nice angmoh people who smile and you and stuff. And the study area is very quiet and uncrowded. I have several straight buses home, and Tanglin Mall is right next door! Haha, yes I like Tanglin Mall. Its very atas and like cool. Because it has all these interesting shops and I just love walking around and wasting time there ahahah. I'm like super productive when I study there, I'm super proud of myself (: Its going to be my new study place (: And in Clara Poa's words, 'FREE AIRCON!' :D
Haha, oh speaking of Clara Poa, she said that my blog is very commonwealth essay-ish. I was oddly flattered xD I mean, noone has ever said that before but it makes me feel smart and intellectual. HAHA rubbish la, obviously she hasn't read all the crazy RG girls' blogs. They are so smart and cheem. Mine is stupid and bimbo, but whatever.
OH and I watched the new episode of Glee! :D Mercedes annoys me. BUT OMG I FELL IN LOVE WITH MIKE CHANG EVEN MOREEEE (: (: (: AND PUCK SOUNDS HOT WHEN HE SINGS. AS DOES MIKE CHANG OMG YAY (: I felt so happy for him at the end!!! :D I just really love Blaine too omg. I just feel so happy when he comes on (: AND AHHHH DAMIEN IS COMING ON NEXT EPISODE RIGHT!? EXCITEMENT.
Oh, speaking of shows, I started watching Modern Family! Haha, almost done with Season 1 actually. Its pretty good! Not as good as HIMYM but still good (: I love Mitchell hahaha he is damn funny, and I love his ginger hair (: and I love Jay! :D he is very nice and funny hahaha. But omgggg, Phil annoys me like asdfghjkl. He is damn loser and irritating omgggg. He has NO redeeming quality whatsoever. HMPH.
But yeah, going out now. Right after I watch the new episode of HIMYM, which always brightens up my day (:
[EDIT]
Okay, I just finished watching it. WHY IS NORA SO PRETTY OMG. Its not fair, she's reallyreally pretty and she has a British accent! :O UNFAIR. Oh and I love Barney. Even with his duckie tie.
