; you'll always be my thunder
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Lonely
Friday, January 14, 2011 || 10:05 PM
I feel so lonely. I don't really know why, but I just feel so empty. I mean seriously, I am OVER you, but I just miss looking at my phone and smiling like an idiot for no reason at all. Not YOUR smses, cause God knows I don't EVER want to get into that again, but still. Walou.
And I'm really so sick of everything. So soon. I mean, its only the end of the second week at school and I'm already feeling like this-.- Firstly, studieswise, I am working harder but I think its not enough. Especially not in Maths, need to buck up ): And as for CCA, well. Idk la. Its just irritating that sometimes people make me feel like I'm not committed, when I am. Ergh. Friendswise, okay la. Normal I guess. But idk, I think I'm distancing from some of my friends, and I'm not even really making an effort to rekindle it. Different schools and all, its tough. But I'm busy, and its just hard. Oh well, I'm sure we'll be fine again.
Everything just feels so different this year. Like everything. Feels like the start of Sec3 all over again. Coming home is just a pain nowadays. I get screamed at for stuff I didn't even do, something I reallyreally hate. I mean, obviously I care about what's going on, and I talk to him all the time, but there's only so much I can do, because I really can't relate. But I DO try to help, and after a point of time, its just up to the person to help himself. I don't think its asking for too much, seriously. If I can do it, there's no reason why he can't. And it just gets on my nerves when my parents preach at me like I don't care. Wtf. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean the effort isn't there alright. And I'm not just some object you can take advantage of all the time. What is up with all the random screaming matches. I don't even do anything! I just get yelled at because something in YOUR life screws up, completely devoid of my fault? How does that even work!?
And sure, you do try to make it up and stuff. But it just gets old when the very next day you go back to your routine of blaming every freaking thing on me.
And you wonder why I don't confide in you -.-
This is really irritating.
