1. You ship all your friends.

2. ...you even ship some of them with inanimate objects.

3. You think Voldemort just needs a hug once in a while.

4. You find a way to relate everything in literature to Harry Potter.

5. You decide that Harry/Giant Squid would make a cute couple.

6. You know for a fact that Voldemort actually enjoys being called Voldy.

7. Jo and Voldy are on a first name basis.

8. ...and they have cute pet names.

9. Sirius comes back as a ghost.

10. ...so does Cedric.

11. Harry decides to live as a Muggle.

12. You analyze the prophecy so much, you've given it new meaning.

13. You refuse to admit that Remus is straight.

14. ...because he obviously isn't!

15. You've gone into such detail on Luna's crazy theories that even you believe they're real.

16. Draco stopped calling Hermione a Mudblood.

17. ...and now they make a cute couple.

18. Snape is actually nice to Hermione.

19. ...and they make a great couple.

20. ...and he's nice to Harry, too.

21. ...and even Ron.

22. You start saying things like, "That reminds me of this fan fic I read the other day!"

23. You think the Marriage Law will actually come into effect in Book 7.

24. Sirius walks out from behind the veil.

25. ...and he never actually died. It was all a scam!

26. You start confusing fan fic with the books. (Example: You were expecting Snape to be nice.)

27. You've read Hermione/Dumbledore stories.

28. You hear a song and say, "I have to write a fan fic about that!"

29. You read a story that reminds you of a movie, so you watch the movie and it reminds you of a fan fiction, and you can't remember which came first.

30. Instead of writing a book report, you write a new fan fiction.

31. You still think Harry and Hermione have a chance.

32. You've read Fred/George stories before.

33. ...and you couldn't sleep for a week.

34. ...you've also read Ginny/Ron.

35. ...and you almost threw up.

36. It's sometimes hard for you to remember who actually wrote the Harry Potter books.

haha... i can soooooo relate.. some of them don't work for me though... found it hilarious.. tts all the lists for tdae.. tune in for more!!!

1. Are still wearing black in mourning.

2. Ask your parents if the death of anyone you know is listed in the Obituary.

3. ...don't explain yourself when they ask who died.

4. Repeatedly report to the police that you know where Snape is hiding.

5. Keep repeating under your breath "the locket... the cup... the snake... something of Gryffindor or Ravenclaw's..."

6. Practice nonverbal spells.

7. Draw an extremely detailed Marauder's Map and obsessively check it to see where Malfoy is.

8. Try to Apparate and insist that you just need to get the hang of it.

9. ...mutter the "three D's" under your breath while you practice.

10. Comment to people that you enjoyed Dumbledore's Army because it was like having friends.

11. Randomly yell, "He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him!" during class.

12. ...refuse to explain what you mean/who you're talking about.

13. Fire arrows in tribute to Dumbledore.

14. Proudly tell anyone who will listen that you are Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.

15. Write up/read lists like this one.

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they jinx you. Wait for the effects of the 'jinx' to wear off, smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but intentionally push the wrong ones.

4. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

5. Drop a quill and wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream, "That's mine!"

6. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

7. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment.

8. Lay down a Muggle Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

9. Randomly ask "Did you feel that?" When they look at you curiously, begin to explain your theory that a troll has made its way into the building, become more panicked by the minute.

10. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. As they are getting off, tell them you "know of a potion that can cure that…"

11. When the doors close, announce to the others in a voice of forced calm, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

12. Swat at flying memos which don't exist.

13. Call out, "Group hug!" and then enforce it. Use Imperius if necessary.

14. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Then explain that the Legilimency lessons are working a little too well.

15. Crack open your briefcase or purse and peer inside periodically while whispering, "Got enough air in there?"

16. Stand silently and motionless in the corner facing the wall, without getting off. If someone approaches you, turn around and try to bite them.

17. Stare at another passenger for a while and then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

18. Charm one of your fingers to talk and use it to communicate with other passengers.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with your Extendable Ears.

20. Speak incantations when anyone presses a button. (Alohomora, for example)

21. Stare manically and grin at another passenger for an extended amount of time before announcing, "I have new socks on."

22. Draw a little square on the floor with your wand and announce to the other passengers in an unnecessarily loud voice, "This is MY personal space!"

23. If anyone questions any of your actions, claim to be under the influence of dark magic.

funny funny!

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate next to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him you stole his teddy bear.

8. Tell him you won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him you were just kidding and said teddy bear has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak up on him while he's asleep and give him a mohawk.

11. Sneak up on him while he's asleep and write "Crazy!" all over his face in permanent ink.

12. Sneak up on him when he's asleep and wash his hair.

13. Send him repeated invitations to a makeover party - which emphasis on facials, shampooing, and hair-braiding. ("But you'll look so pretty!!")

14. Force him to get a Michael Jackson-type nose surgery.

15. Call him Michael by accident.

16. Make parallels between him and Michael Jackson. "You both have deformed noses, you both have pale skin, you both have greasy black hair, he's the King of Pop, you're the Half-Blood Prince, you both molest chil..Oops!"

17. Prank call him and say, "Where's the emergency?! I hear there was a man at this number who needed an extreme nose job ASAP!" over and over again.

18. Resurrect James using a seance and make him haunt Snape for eternity.

19. Hypnotize the Death Eaters to make fun of him and constantly try to de-pants him.

20. Tap him on his left shoulder and jump to the right.

21. Nudge him and say, "So...how's the double-agent business going?" *nudgenudgewinkwink*

22. Tape a sign that says "CURSE ME!" on his back.

23. Call him Snivellus.

24. Tell you consulted a pyschic and he's not a Prince afterall...and he never will be.

25. Convince him that going around in the nude is the new "in" style. Wait, are we torturing him or us?!

26. Give him to Grawp. *evil laugh*

27. Obliviate his memory and force him to spend the rest of his days as a Muggle. Or better yet, try it within the Obliviating part!

28. Dye his skin pink.

29. Force him to become the head Gryffindor cheerleader.

30. Tell him that you've killed Draco (as tempting as it may be, do not really kill him!).

31. Laugh evilly and tell him that he's broken the Unbreakable Vow since he didn't save Draco, and will therefore die at any moment.

32. Laugh at him as he runs in circles panicking about his impending "doom."

33. Or just kill Draco and force Snape to watch him die. *dodges fangirls*

34. Give him the nickname Half-Blood Princess.

35. Find anything he's ever written "I am the Half-Blood Prince" on, and change it to say "Princess."

36. Blackmail him. "If you do anything bad to me, I'll show everyone the picture of you before your nose job went horribly wrong!"

37. Comment on how smudgy his papers are because they have grease marks from his nose on them.

38. Tell him Voldemort doesn't love him anymore.

39. Tell him a story with many parallels to his own life, and disguise it badly.

40. End with his imminent doom and the moral: "Greasy-haird traitors who murder old men [for any reason] and run away, will always get caught and murdered in the most painful way wizardly possible."

41. When he confronts you about it, pretend you have no idea what he's talking about.

42. Tie him to a chair and force him to watch the Potter Puppet Pals.

43. Buy him a shirt with his Pupper Pal look-a-like and say "Bother!" as loudly as you can whenever you're in his presence.

44. And if none of these bother Snape enough, you could always hack away at his head with a blunt axe - giving him a slow, painful death and an embarassing, not-quite-Headless-Hunt-material afterlife.

1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, you got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than you look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for you now!!" *Prepare yourself by getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did you say something?"

5. "Why do you have to be so mean?!" *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*

6. "Uh, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!" *take off running*

7. *cackle with laughter* "You sound like a girl ! Hey honey, come listen to this guy talk!"

8. "My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!" *put on record and sing along* 'Please - say - please - and - thank you for saying thank you!'

9. "Are you a joke? Clearly you're a joke!"

10. "I'm sensing some self-confidence problems. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's...and while you're there, maybe you could have them do something about your nose."

11. "Oh yeah, and you've told Harry that how many times now? I'm soooooo scared!"

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. ..at Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.

111. ..even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.